|Just a dream
||[Aug. 6th, 2011|09:40 am]
Had a dream last night.|
The game i'm making did really well, got cast as a character in Hellsing, Square Enix released a good final fantasy again, had a date one of the girls in this world that i wished i could(wont say her name in case she ever reads this.
Then i woke up. Not sure if i should be happy or not on the one hand experiencing something like that is an awesome feeling. On the other hand, waking up to the reality of where i am now well its one of those states of existing where you wish you could stay there. Especially with the girl in question, i'm not that great with other people, i have actual medical conditions that make it hard to be with other people. And the few romantic encounters i've had didn't last long at all.
I do honestly feel like a misfit of sorts. And when as a society we keep talking about the importance of individuality, as someone that is reasonably unique i find that most of that talk is bullshit. All the atributes in my life that have made me different and thus an individual are the same things that get on peoples nerves or are used to screw me over work wise.
Jobs may need people that can think out of the box but they sure as hell don't hire them.
I suppose whats going on is my brains way of dealing with some of the things going on. If dreams are usually supposed to be about the things were not dealing with what does that make said dream. For one the girl in question doesn't know me that well and allready has another, Square Enix i have no controle over and even if i did ever get a job there i guarantee id have no influence on final fantasy outside of mabye some translation or if Voice Acting ever got back into my life playing one of their characters. Hellsing i am a friend with the ADR director and that's my only connection. There a chance he may read this so yeah of course id like to be in anime and of course Hellsing is one of those series id really like to be a part of. My subconscious mind made me do it. The last thing is the only thing i have control over is the game. Hopefully I can make that part of the dream a reality.